Fact Check: Can You Really Form a New Habit in 21 Days?

You’ve heard it before: “It takes 21 days to form a habit.” But is it true?

This widely accepted timeframe might sound appealing, but as obé co-founder Ashley M. points out, it’s often just marketing, “similar to the ‘10,000 steps’ target.” In reality, habit formation is complex, unique to the individual, and can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days to become automatic. Especially for women, life’s unpredictability can make sticking to routines a unique challenge.

There’s still hope for you to form a habit in 21 days—if you know how. Let’s explore the real science of building healthy habits, to help you feel empowered and ultimately upgrade your life.

PSA: The 21-Day Habit Is a Myth 

All it takes is 21 days… right?! Not necessarily. You may be surprised to learn that the 21-day habit-forming timeframe isn’t exactly rooted in science. According to a 2012 review of the psychology of habit formation, the concept originates from anecdotal evidence of cosmetic surgery patients who reported adjusting to their new appearance at the 21-day mark.

This became the foundation for how long it takes to adjust to a new normal—but it’s not a perfect science, and it’s not even about health! Researchers find that it takes around 66 days on average to adopt a new healthy habit, but even still, they report “considerable variation across participants and behaviors.”

One such variation? Your gender. As Ashley explains: “Much of the research that has been done on this happened in the 50s and was centralized around college-aged males.” This is pretty common in research, unfortunately, with women historically underrepresented among testing cohorts. This can skew findings and limit the relevance of results for women. For example, women’s bodies experience hormonal fluctuations across life stages—puberty, pregnancy, menopause—that impact how habits form and stick.

Ashley shares that “building habits isn’t a ‘one-size-fits-all’ process,” and that everyone’s journey to forming habits is unique, influenced by factors such as “self-discipline, impulsivity, and unconscious internal conflicts.”

By understanding how unique factors like gender, life stage, and even daily stressors play into habit-building, we can start to design routines that genuinely work with our lives, not against them.

How Is a Habit Formed?

At the heart of effective habit formation is the “habit loop,” a cycle involving a cue, routine, and reward. This psychological framework was popularized by James Clear in his book Atomic Habits. It highlights that a habit is triggered by a cue (something that reminds you to act), followed by a routine (the action itself), and completed with a reward (something that reinforces the action, helping solidify it as a habit over time).

Ashley gives a real-life example of this habit cycle in her own life: “I keep a kettlebell right in the middle of my office, directly in front of the TV. It’s impossible to miss, and every time I see it, I’m reminded to pick it up,” that’s a cue.

“When I have a minute between calls, I’ll just do 10 squats with it.” That’s a routine. And the reward? She feels good! “Doing this makes it easier to prioritize my strength goals—it’s small but powerful.”

Remember: “For a habit to take root and become automatic, the routine ideally needs consistency, with all variables being fairly constant,” says Ashley.

The Consistency Struggle

While habits require consistency, it’s not always easy. Life rarely offers the predictability that a strict habit loop requires. 

“From caregiving responsibilities to fluctuating work demands, the variables that disrupt routines are often out of our control,” Ashley says, which makes it harder for habits to stick fully, because we already have enough mental strain.

Because of these dynamics, ‘powering through’ isn’t the answer. Instead, supporting your executive function and adopting a flexible mindset can better set you up for success.

READ MORE: I Did 30 Days of obé—Here’s What Happened

How obé Helps You Create New Habits that Stick

To set yourself up for habit success, you need to support your executive function—the mental processes that help you plan, organize, and manage tasks—by reducing mental strain. In simple terms: You need to create habit loops that are easy and intuitive, so they seamlessly slot into your day, and before long, they’ve become ingrained in your routine.

With executive function in mind, obé’s platform has been designed to make it easier than ever to adopt a new healthy habit.

Melody D., obé’s director of programming, explains, “obé’s platform tackles key obstacles to habit formation by reducing decision fatigue and friction, removing common barriers that often derail progress.”

She continues, “When you have too many decisions to make—like which workout to do, how long to spend on it, or what lesson to complete—it can be overwhelming. By providing clear, structured paths and removing the need for constant decision-making, obé helps members conserve mental energy and focus on action.”

This promotes consistency, increases motivation, makes it easier for beginners to take the first step, and helps you automate new habits with little conscious effort, “speeding up the transition from intention to routine,” adds Melody.

Ashley shares some of obé’s key tools and features that help habits stick:

• Easy Planning: Intuitive tools like the scheduling feature, class stacking, and workout programs (which have months of workouts planned for you) all simplify fitness planning, with reminders to keep you on track, “taking the guesswork out of planning your fitness routine!”
  
• Movement Equations: obé’s Mood Check feature helps you reframe exercise to focus on feeling good in the moment, linking physical activity to immediate mental and physical benefits. “Remember when that HIIT class left you feeling calm and clear-headed, you might opt to do that when you’re next feeling anxious, creating a positive feedback loop.”
  
• Goal-Setting & Courses: Newley launched obé Courses—short-form, multimedia lessons on different health and wellness topics—help you form new habits with science-backed, expert insights. “Goal-setting frameworks will also be launching soon to help you set achievable, personalized goals using methods like Tiny Habits and SMART goals, making long-term progress manageable and clear.”

“Each of these features is crafted to reinforce habits in a way that makes wellness more accessible, rewarding, and empowering, allowing you to integrate fitness into a balanced, fulfilling lifestyle,” concludes Ashley.

Expert Habit Tips from Ashley and Melody

Creating sustainable habits can be challenging, but with the right approach, it’s possible to build routines that feel natural and rewarding. Below, Ashley and Melody share their top strategies for making habits stick.

1. Start Small for Quick Wins

“Setting achievable goals, like obé’s short-form challenges, creates a sense of accomplishment right away,” says Melody. Short sessions, like obé’s 5-15-minute Express classes, deliver a quick victory that motivates you to keep going. Small steps build momentum, making it easier to progress without feeling overwhelmed.

2. Reduce Decision Fatigue

According to Melody, decision fatigue is a common barrier to forming new habits. “obé’s curated content and daily calendar view take the guesswork out, so you always know what to do next.” With structured paths (for example, when you’re enrolled in a workout program), you can conserve mental energy and focus on taking action, not figuring out where to start.

3. Make it Enjoyable and Flexible

“Enjoyment is essential for habit formation,” explains Ashley. She suggests choosing options that bring joy, inspired by Michelle Segar’s The Joy Choice, to create positive associations with new routines. Melody agrees: obé’s variety of fun, engaging online workouts makes consistency easier because you actually look forward to it.

4. Set SMART Goals and Use Tiny Habits

Ashley recommends SMART goals—specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound—to break down big changes into manageable steps. “The tiny habits approach is another powerful tool,” she says, explaining that small actions tied to existing routines build familiarity and make new habits feel natural.

5. Track Progress and Set Reminders

Tracking your achievements can be a powerful motivator, says Melody. “obé’s progressive programs let you see real progress in strength, flexibility, or stamina, keeping you inspired to continue.” Plus, reminders on your calendar or mobile device act as gentle nudges, helping you stay on track.

6. Be Kind to Yourself

Both Ashley and Melody emphasize the importance of flexibility. “Life isn’t always consistent, so flexibility is key,” says Ashley. Remember, every step, no matter how small, counts toward your long-term goal. Missed a day? Simply jump back in when you’re ready.

With these strategies, habit formation becomes less about rigid routines and more about discovering what genuinely fits your lifestyle.

READ MORE: Exercising Your Emotional Health: An Expert Guide to Self-Compassion and More